Response: "Lifted"

I have this habit when it comes to books: By the time I get halfway through one, I’ve usually flipped forward to see how the story ends. (Yes, I’m one of those people.) It’s the same deal with movies. I’ll get part way through, pull up Wikipedia on my phone, and read what’s going to happen next. I can't remember the last time I actually made it through a film without doing this.

It’s not that I stop reading/watching right then and there. Rather, there’s something about knowing the ending—or at least, some future plot details—that injects more tension into the story for me. I know where the characters end up… Now, what events and decisions get them there?

As I read “Lifted,” I wondered how the story might be different if it opened with a later scene. To be precise, I’m thinking of Chapter 5, where we finally get a look at the building that the thieves are going to break into. What would the story feel like if that scene was used as a hook?

First, we learn that this building is understaffed and not designed for its present use—in fact, it’s downright vulnerable. By the time the walls begin to shake, we’re pretty sure this is not going to end well. Our suspicions are confirmed as the robbers break in, and we get those interesting clues about their process—for example, their ladder has been measured to fit the building. The opening scene could end with them preparing to overcome the vault.

We don’t know how much money they’re going to get away with—if any. We don’t know if the police are standing on the other side of the door. But we do know that they made it this far, and that they seem to have insider knowledge of the building, and that they are very, very well-prepared.

So, the big question becomes: How did they do it?

I really wanted this story to own its action movie feel, but the present opening of “Lifted” just doesn’t have that sort of hook. Like Robyn, I wasn’t engaged by the static nature of the stakeout scene—though I feel like it was more a matter of poor placement than insufficient content. (Actually, a very “still” moment is needed in a story where I totally expect Jason Statham to army-roll through a doorway at any moment.) What if we read the stakeout scene already knowing that the robbers would succeed at entering the bank? We might then wonder where the police failed, given that they already have the baddies under surveillance, and so on.

I guess what I’m getting at is: In its present form, this story doesn’t make me ask questions, and that really dampens my desire to keep reading. It feels episodic; to me, the scenes often fail to push one another forward in a compelling way. If I had them in a Word document, I’d be tempted to move moments from “Lifted” around and see how they fit into a new structure. You could try beginning with something seemingly inconsequential and irrelevant, like Eriksson’s minor car crash. Or maybe you could start with the police unknowingly passing by the materials burning in the forest.

That said, I always recommend putting the explosions first.

Miscellaneous Notes:

- I wonder why the policewoman in the opening scene was named, seeing as she didn’t show up again in the story. (Or did she? I didn’t notice her.)

- The fact about Sweden accounting for one tenth of the robbery losses in Europe really blew my mind. That information needed to be much closer to the beginning, I think, and far less buried in the text. I also wouldn’t have minded more context on the nature of bank heists in that part of the world, and maybe a mention of all the robbers there aren’t quite so successful.

- I loved some of the cinematic touches in this piece, like the image of the dropped circular saw buzzing around and around. Same thing with the play-by-play recounting of the phone activity. I also found it hilarious that the police smashed the door in when it was actually unlocked… such great detail by Ratliff. Here’s the photo on CNN, which reminded me of this unrelated-but-funny clip.